To Find Love Again
by Moony44
Summary: London 1918. When Edward and Bella are torn apart by a vampire war, Bella is on a search to find him. And sooner or later she has to come to the horrible conclusion that Edward does not remember her. Will her tales of their romantic past jog his memory?
1. Lovers Torn Apart

"Bella," he pleaded, his deep emerald eyes begging me to run with him, far away, to anywhere but here. The streets of London were misty with a heavy fog that hung over the city like a blanket, making the streetlights unable to illuminate more than a couple feet around them.

I feverishly snapped my head around to face a horde of vampires. Hundreds of them. All storming around on the cobblestone streets of London. My stomach lurched wildly at the sight of a young newborn in a fighting stance, hungrily eyeing a tall English women with blood-red eyes. In less than a second she was lying spread-eagle on the ground, dead. I whipped around to see Edward, his normally patient face etched with fear.

"Edward, we can't leave...not with all these people here who could die!" I shrieked, the panic evident in my voice.

"Bella, _we_ could die!" Edward exclaimed, holding out his hand for me to take. "You have to understand, love. We've got to get out of here. Now." The hairs on the back of my neck prickled upward and I felt another foreign hand yank my upper arm, pulling me away from Edward. In half a millisecond, he was on one side of my captor, fighting him with every ounce of strength he had. The vampire who was holding me captive lashed out viciously, sending Edward flying nearly twenty feet. He landed in a crumpled heap on the cold stone. I cried out in horror, but the sound never reached my lips. I was vaguely aware that the entire of my body was shaking violently. A second later (although it felt like much longer), another wicked creature had hold on Edward, while he was still on the ground. I felt angry by this act of unfairness. This was wrong. All of it was. A low snarl rippled through my vampire's clenched teeth: a warning. My eyes darted all around, not quite comprehending what was going on. Edward was captured. I was captured. They wanted us for the war, the vampire war. Oh, god. They wanted to turn us into vampires. My breath came out in short gasps as I witnessed the pandemonium raging around us. I glanced down to see blood trickling down the sidewalk and I flinched away from it. Everything around me seemed to be spinning and my hands were all clammy from all the adrenaline rushing through my body. Our captors were just holding us there like they wanted us to suffer being away from each other. As much as I struggled, I couldn't shake the iron grip that held me.

Edward was so close to me, I could almost touch him. I desperately reached my fingers towards Edward's outstretched palm and tried to cling to it. The distance was too far. He had his hand held out still, in all the chaos and I reached farther. Our fingertips brushed and I felt that immediate spark that always appeared when we touched. The creature that had hold of me jerked me away so I couldn't feel Edward anymore. They slowly backed away, so we were getting farther apart.

The vampires were still scampering around us, sinking their sharp teeth into the necks of their next victims. I could barely make out Edward with all the people fleeing for their lives while they could. My eyes quickly filled with warm tears, blurring my vision.

"Bella!" Edward's strangled call woke my senses and I strained my neck to see him struggling against the vampire's hard grasp. "I love you!" He shouted it like it was the last time I was going to see him. My breath caught in my throat and I sobbed, denying any reality at that point.

"No!" I managed to gasp out. "Edward, no!" I distinctly noticed a tear slide down his face. My tears were flowing freely now, I didn't care. Not only was I an emotional mess, my legs felt like noodles beneath me.

"I-I love you!" I steadied my voice, wanting to make sure he heard it. Whether he did or not, I did not know. My evil captor was dragging me away from everything. I fought again against the strong hold, but it was useless. I was at my breaking point. My cries were heard throughout the street as I collapsed into the gruff arms of the vampire that had hold of me. I only had one thought before I fell into unconsciousness:

The took me. They took me away from London, away from the chaos, away from my Edward.


	2. Nightmare

It felt like I was in a dreamlike state. I was gliding up a dazzling verdurous hill in a meadow adorned with yellow roses. Everywhere you looked there were yellow roses, like a sea of sunshine, happy as can be. My heart immediately filled with joy just looking at all these flowers. I got to the top of the hill and stopped gliding. What I saw was a dark, dismal woods full of trees close together. In the midst off all the trees I saw Edward, almost completely hidden within the shadows, a wicked grin on his normally pleasant face. He was beautiful though, as always, with his perfect features and even more flawless eyes. There was no one else around except Edward and I. I smiled and waved enthusiastically. His grin widened slightly as his eyes turned from warm to malicious. I frowned, something was not right. This was not my Edward. I wanted to ask him what was wrong and started calling out to him to come forward so I could talk to him. I opened my mouth, but strangely, no sound came out.

As if reading my mind he stepped out from the shadows and almost blinded me. His entire body was gleaming in the sun and I hastily shielded my eyes from the glare. Suddenly all I saw of him was a blur and he was right by my side, next to me. I gaped and again attempted to speak.

"Um," I managed croak out. "Edward. What's happened to you?" Though I didn't think it was possible, his smile grew bigger. He ignored me and started to kiss me instead. I was hesitant at first. He felt different; his skin was stone cold and rock hard. I ignored it. He slowly took his lips off mine and lifted his face a centimeter from mine. His head traveled down my neck, right above the base of it. His breath tickled my skin and I shivered involuntarily.

"Say goodbye, love," he whispered. Then he sank his teeth into me, just like the vampires had in the London streets. I tried to cry out for somebody to hear me, but I couldn't scream. I indistinctly felt him smile against my skin as his teeth crawled deeper and deeper. I instantaneously felt weak and my I crumpled to the ground. Edward followed me there, finally letting his teeth out of my skin. I didn't know if I was dead or not. All I knew was that I was on fire. The whole of my body felt like it was burning up and I writhed and jerked in agony. Even though I had not felt it, I was sure dying felt better than this. I pleaded with him and he finally decided to put me out of my misery.

In a swift movement it was dark. I was dead.

* * *

My heart was flying wildly out of my chest. I put my hand over my beating heart and took deep breaths.

"It was a dream...it was only a dream," I repeated to myself out loud. I finally got enough sense to realize where I was. I was in the back of a wooden caravan. It was the dead of night and I was freezing. I took a deep breath and rubbed my hands together in attempt to warm them up. There was loose strands of hay on the ground and only assumed it was due to animals that usually were transported by this apparatus. I knew where I was, but I didn't have a clue to as where I was going.

I knew I had to do something, and quick. My hands flew up, feeling for something, anything in the dark. I felt a door and ran my fingers over the rough wood.

"Come on, come on..." I mumbled incoherently. "Yes." I finally found the door latch and clicked it open. The door swung open, revealing a dirt road.

"It's now or never, Bella. You can do it, love," I said, repeating Edward's words to myself. Whenever I would get down Edward was there to say his famous line of 'You can do it, love'.

I took in another breath of cool air, filling my lungs and letting it out. I needed to find Edward, before it was too late. With all the adrenaline rushing in my body, I jumped out of the speeding vehicle and on to the dirt road.

* * *

AN: Well, as you can tell, Bella and Edward have a history together in 1919. They are both 18. That is all I will tell you, as to not spoil the story. Sorry if this chapter was horrible, I was in a little rush and it is short. Darn. I'll make the next chapters longer, I promise. 


	3. Torment

AN: Sorry it took so long to update. School has been eating my time. It's evil.

Previously:

I took in another breath of cool air, filling my lungs and letting it out. I needed to find Edward, before it was too late. With all the adrenaline rushing in my body, I jumped out of the speeding vehicle and on to the dirt road.

* * *

Edward's eyes snapped open. He immediately took in the surroundings and backed against the stone wall behind him, frantic. He was in a dungeon of some sort. Stone stared at him from the ground, chains were worn around his wrists, and an iron gate locked him in. His eyes darted around and he strained to hear for any noise. No one seemed to be coming, so he tried to break free of the strong holds of his chains. 

The rusty metal bit into his skin and he bit his lip to strangle a cry as the blood seeped out of his skin and dripped onto the floor. He struggled helplessly until he heard a loud bang as someone slammed the dungeon door open. He immediately fell limp, pretending that he was unconscious, or at least asleep.

"So what do we do with this one, Thomas?" Footsteps echoed off the walls as the strange voices came nearer. Their talking sounded like melodious music and it was eerily calming.

"Bite him," the second vampire murmured, his voice velvety smooth. The two vampires cackled menacingly as they approached my cell.

"Hmm..." Thomas mused. "Looks as if our friend tried to break out." He grinned the most maniacal smile and opened the gate, creeping up on Edward. Edward's breaths shortened as his heart sped up. Thomas slightly skimmed his icy fingers over Edward's wrists, scraping up drops of blood. Edward shuddered and cringed at the unpleasant touch. Thomas brought his fingers to his lips and licked them hungrily, as his eyes grew darker.

Edward felt slight movement and suddenly cold breath tickled his face. He fluttered his eyes open bravely, and stared into the black eyes of the dangerous vampire inches away from his face.

"We're not going to kill you. No, that would be far too kind." Thomas' raw fingers ran over Edward's wounds once more, and Edward flinched away. "We are going to destroy you. We are going to make sure that you are exactly like us." Edward shuddered as he tried his best to look fearless.

The vampire standing at the entrance of his cell snickered, as did Thomas. "Yes, it is scary, isn't it?" he said, referring to Edward's shudder.

_You sick, twisted, bloodsucker--_

Thomas gasped, playfully. "Hmm..a sick and twisted bloodsucker, Edward? That is a bit cruel, don't you agree?" Now it was Edward's turn to gasp as a lump rose in his throat.

"How did you...?" Edward choked out, clearly shocked. He couldn't help but wonder how a bloodsucker could know what he was thinking.

"So you decide to talk, do you? Yes, Edward." Thomas stepped back a bit, observing pitiful Edward with intimidating eyes. "I can read your mind. That's why I know your name. And about Isabella. Or, as you so lovingly put it, Bella."

Edward felt a surge of rage fill him and he shook with anger. "Don't you bring Bella into this!" He roared, feeling the rusty chains that held him to the stone wall shake.

"Tut, tut," the pondered, running his fingers over Edward's cheek. "Protective, are we?" Edward trembled with vexation again, trying to stay calm. "Let's play a little game, shall we? Let's see how far you can go, boy." The poor prisoner swallowed and blinked back bitter tears.

Thomas stood there, looking straight at Edward's forehead, as if it helped him to read his mind. He reached into the very depths of his prisoner's mind and pulled out the most personal details.

"Bella. Your first love?" Thomas simpered. "Young love is so beautiful. It's sickeningly sweet, if I do say so myself. Bella is a very pretty name. It means beautiful in French, does it not?" He didn't wait for Edward to answer before he continued. "Well, too bad she is meeting her horrible fate now..." Thomas trailed off, clearly amused. Panic filled Edward's body. Her horrible fate? "Bella must have been a silly, stupid girl to ever be with _you_." He spat out the word 'you_'_ like it was a naughty word. "_Oh, Edward I love you_!" Thomas did his perfect imitation of Bella. "_Oh, Edward you are so perfect! Oh, Bella, you are so beautiful, my love!_" He said, this time imitating Edward. Edward fought back tears again and shook his head, haughtily.

"This is wrong," Edward muttered. Thomas stopped talking and looked calmly at Edward, a smile playing on his lips once more.

"Oh, is it?" He whispered. "_Edward, we can't leave...not with all these people here who could die!__ You have to understand, love. We've got to get out of here. Now!" _Thomas mimicked the voices, in the most cruel way possible.

"Stop it!" Edward shouted, trying to shut the memory of a day ago out of his head. Thomas stared his unblinking eyes fixedly upon the prisoner before lashing out, viciously.

"Don't you learn, Edward? You will never amount to anything. You will never see Bella again. There is nothing that you can do to stop me from leaving you with your horrible fate," he yelled, provoked.

He turned to his friend at this time for assistance. "Lucas, where shall I perform it?"

Lucas rolled his eyes and stupidly hobbled over to Thomas, a ravenous glint in his eyes. He looked a bit younger than Edward's captor, and licked his pale lips.

"Please master? Let me do it. I'll serve you proud-" Lucas pleaded desperately until he was silenced by his master.

"Silence!" Thomas bellowed, angrily. He swiftly grabbed the tips of his servant's hair, pulling them viciously. His eyes flashed with rage and a look of torment passed on Lucas' face.

"Never," Thomas whispered. "Ever ask me that again. You ask that one more time and I promise you that it will be the last thing you ever say." Lucas nodded his head, scared and defeated.

"Now then." He paced the cell, thoughtfully. An idea entered his twisted mind and he turned to Edward, leering.

"Ah, why didn't I think of it earlier? Why not just perform the task here? That way, he can _transform_ in a confined area?" Thomas continued to mutter to know one in particular as Edward's heart sped up. His palms we clammy with sweat and his eyes darted around to find an escape as his arms hung loosely from the wall chains.

_What are they going to do to me?_

"Listen, boy." Edward sensed he was being talked to and his head snapped up to meet Thomas'. "This will be your very last moment of being a human again, so cherish it. Love it like you loved whatshername. Bella." He laughed wickedly, throwing his head back at his own facetious joke. Tears were pouring down Edward's face at the mention of Bella again.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Thomas murmured softly. "Yes, it does. Say your last few words, human." Thomas' slim fingers now rested on Edward's shaking shoulders. It was like touching fire to ice, and it was not a pleasant combination. Edward now trembled from the cold, too. As the tears leaked from his emerald eyes, he thought about exactly what to say. Lucas' teeth came closer and closer to Edward's neck and they slowly and painfully sank into the skin, causing him to writhe in agony. A fire erupted in his neck and he did just one thing before he passed out from the pain. His eyes wandered from Lucas, to the chains, to Thomas before saying the four words that had previously completed his existence.

"I love you, Bella."

* * *

AN: I'm sorry again for not updating sooner. Hopefully some people still read it! I worked extra hard on this chapter, and I quite like it. I've just discovered my new love is writing evil characters. 


	4. Kiss the Rain

Previously:

A fire erupted in his neck and he did just one thing before he passed out from the pain. His eyes wandered from Lucas, to the chains, to Thomas before saying the four words that had previously completed his existence.

"I love you, Bella."

* * *

I stood there, spread eagle, feeling the storm. I could feel myself beginning to cry and I choked back a sob, preparing for the tears to fall. They never came. I supposed I had dried all my tear ducts out. It was just as well; I was already wet.

I could almost hear his voice, murmuring in my ear now- all the things he had told me. "Kiss the rain," he could say, whilst stroking my hand. "It came down to see you."

He would speak of the rain so highly; almost as if he was friends with it. So now I was taking his advice. And there I was, touching the rain in the middle of an emerald field. Emerald, just like his eyes.

"Kiss the rain," I whispered. I hoped that somehow the wind would hear me and carry my message to him, wherever he was. Just as I said it though, a growl of thunder rippled from the dark, ominous sky and I knew it was pointless. He would never know. So, despite my helpless mutterings, I knew that he was gone. And as much as I needed him, he wasn't there. As the sky grew darker still, and the rain soaked the grass, I held back a cry again.

"Kiss the rain, Edward. Please, for me. Kiss the rain."

--

It had taken me hours to get to the emerald meadow where I had stood in the rain. Rain. It was Edward's favorite thing in the world. I could never really appreciate it. I was too mesmerized by him and the way he felt the rain to ever really feel the rain myself. I heard it's gentle pitter patter- it was a pitter patter to remind me that it was still there. It seemed to always ask me if I felt it or not. I would somehow forget to answer it. Because the thing was, I was too infatuated with Edward. He was my whole world. The purpose of my life. He made me whole and complete. Without him, it felt empty. It felt as if someone had taken my mind and all that was left was emptiness. I couldn't function without my Edward. He was my eyes, my ears, my heart. I didn't know what to do without him.

The rain slowly subsided and I found myself laying on the soaked grass, drenched in rain. I was vaguely aware of the shivers that racked my body. All I could do was try and think without him. All I could do was try to be independent. It was pitch black and my ears made out the reassuring sounds of crickets chirping. I figured it was late; very late. Probably a bit past midnight. I sobbed once more, wanting the tears to come out. Please. Just one tear. They never came.

I drifted to sleep, my mind vacant. After all, it's hard to think when you are empty.

* * *

Edward's eyes shot open and darted around the room. The first thing he heard was a buzzing noise. It was a very low buzzing noise, sounding as if he were in a room with a lot of muffled voices. He glanced around again, trying to spot the noise. His eyes met a dark dungeon, different from the last one he was in. If it were possible to be so, this one was even more dark and desolate. He noticed that he had no chains on and he stood up to pace.

"Where is that noise coming from?" He muttered, in a frustrated tone. His voice came out scratchy and rough and he swallowed again, trying to clear his dry throat. He suddenly had a severe urge to drink something. He was thirsty, very thirsty. His throat burned like he hadn't had a sip of liquid in years.

A chuckle softly emitted from the corner of the room. A shadow was standing there, peering intensely at Edward, a fascinated look on his chalky face.

Edward gulped and stared at the figure who was now leering at him.

"Hello, John," the figure said to him.

"Who-who are you?" Edward asked, hesitantly.

"I'm Thomas. It's very nice to meet you. And you are-?" Thomas trailed off, smirking.

Edward looked at the ground trying to remember. "I'm...J-John...?"

"Yes," Thomas replied, smugly. "Yes, you are. And Bella? Do you remember her?" He tested him, carefully staring into Edward's blood red eyes for any flicker of remembrance.

Edward looked at the ground again for help. The dirt ground told him nothing and Edward looked up again, pitifully. Because not only did he forget his name, but he had forgotten his entire existence, including his past lover. His Bella.

* * *

**AN: I just wanted to say a little note to apologize for updating so late. Thanks again for those who read it. Even if you don't review, I still enjoy when people read my work. But reviews do make my day. No kidding. Thanks for reading! Sorry it was a bit short. **


	5. A Little Note

I'm sorry to say:

This, and all of my other stories will be put on a temporary hiatus. I know I don't update often, but I will be updating less often.

Finals are approaching and I need to focus on more important things.

Although I won't be updating as much as I did (which wasn't very often), I will still be checking my mail for messages and responding to reviews and PMs, etc.

I've been wanting to do this for quite a while now.

Thanks for all of your understanding. And it doesn't mean that if I don't have an extra couple hours on the weekend I won't update.

And I know I will lose readers because of my lack of updates. At this point, I couldn't care less. I love my readers and I love that you read my stories and that you review them. But, the problem is, I can't update as much as all of you would like. And it's frustrating for a writer to know that she can't update every weekend like she should. It's aggravating to know that people, actual people, are reading your stories and that you don't have a lot of time to update so those actual people can read them. I just sincerely hope that you will still have interest in the story after the long wait.

And I really appreciate everyone who has read my stories. You don't know how much that means to me. Well, it means a whole lot, I tell you.

The stories that I probably will be updating the quickest:

**To Find Love Again**

**Only a FairyTale**

**In The City of Love**

**Blue Skies Ahead**

I'm sorry. I really am. I apologize especially to the people who have read the stories that I update the least. Like The Irony of Vacation, or Only a Fairytale.

I truly hope that people still read the stories. I'm sorry for not updating, for keeping you waiting, and I'm sorry for the hiatus. I also apologize to those people whom I PM regularly. I know it takes me weeks to PM you back. I'm so horrible about those types of things. I put them in a special file so I remember to message you back, but then I forget I have the file!

Anyways...

Thanks for reading. :D

And maybe I will have an inspiration to write a oneshot. You never know.

I will update again.

Just not anytime soon.

Thanks, and farewell for now,

Moony x


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